When faced with infidelity in a marriage, it’s natural to assume that cheating will drastically alter the outcome of a divorce. However, there are several myths that persist when it comes to divorce and cheating. Understanding these myths can help you approach your case with realistic expectations. Below, we will tackle the most common misconceptions about how infidelity impacts divorce, from asset division to child custody.

Cheating Does Not Automatically Impact Asset Division

One of the most common misconceptions about divorce and cheating is that the cheating spouse will automatically lose a significant portion of the marital assets. Many people assume that the judge will punish the unfaithful spouse by giving the other spouse a larger share of the marital property. After all, isn’t cheating a betrayal that should come with consequences?

In reality, this is rarely the case. Texas, where DeFord Law Firm is based, is a community property state, which means assets acquired during the marriage are generally divided equally between both spouses. The underlying idea behind community property is that both parties contributed to the marriage, whether through financial support, homemaking, or other responsibilities, so both should share the assets equally.

While infidelity may be seen as a betrayal, it’s not typically a deciding factor when it comes to dividing assets. The court generally views cheating as a symptom of a marriage that was already broken. They don’t see it as the cause of the divorce, and unless there is a significant financial impact caused by the affair—such as spending large sums of money on the affair—it won’t alter how assets are divided.

For example, if the cheating spouse has spent a considerable amount of marital funds on gifts, vacations, or extravagant dates, that could be considered financial misconduct. In this case, a court might take that spending into account and order the cheating spouse to pay more in the division of assets, but this is rare and requires clear evidence.

Cheating Doesn’t Necessarily Affect Child Custody

Another common myth is that if your spouse cheated, it will automatically affect their ability to get custody of the children. This idea stems from the belief that cheating is an indication of poor moral character, which should be taken into account when making child custody decisions.

While cheating can raise questions about a parent’s moral character, it does not typically impact custody arrangements unless it directly affects the child’s well-being. In Texas, as in most states, the courts are focused on the best interests of the child. The primary factors in custody decisions include the emotional well-being of the child, the child’s relationship with both parents, and each parent’s ability to provide a stable home environment.

If your spouse’s cheating has negatively impacted their ability to care for your children—such as through neglect or emotional instability—this may be considered in a custody decision. However, merely having an affair will not automatically grant you sole custody or alter visitation schedules. In fact, courts are more likely to focus on the child’s day-to-day needs and which parent can provide the most stable environment.

In Some Cases, You Can Limit Your Ex’s New Partner’s Interaction with the Kids

When a spouse cheats, one of the biggest concerns for the non-cheating partner is the introduction of the new partner to the children. Many parents don’t want their children to meet the person who was involved in breaking up their family, and understandably so.

Fortunately, if this is a concern for you, there are steps you can take. You can request a clause in your divorce decree that prohibits your ex from introducing their new partner to the children during overnight visits. This provision can help ensure that the children aren’t exposed to a new partner in a way that feels inappropriate or rushed. It’s often referred to as a “no introduction” clause.

However, it’s important to understand that while you can request this provision, it can be challenging to prevent the introduction of a new partner altogether. Courts are generally reluctant to restrict a parent’s right to date, especially if the children are not directly impacted by the new relationship. Courts usually encourage parents to maintain their individual lives as long as it doesn’t affect the children’s emotional well-being or the parenting arrangement.

If the introduction of a new partner becomes problematic or disrupts the child’s routine or emotional health, the court may revisit the custody arrangement. But until that point, it’s difficult to completely stop a parent from dating or introducing their new partner to the children under certain circumstances.

Cheating May Not Be a Major Factor in Divorce Settlements

Another myth is that infidelity will automatically result in a larger settlement for the non-cheating spouse. While it’s understandable to feel that the cheating spouse should be held accountable for their actions, the truth is that divorce settlements are based on a variety of factors—many of which have little to do with the affair itself.

In most cases, judges do not assign financial consequences for infidelity unless there is clear evidence of wasteful spending. If your spouse used marital funds to support their affair—such as paying for lavish trips, buying expensive gifts for their lover, or even setting up a second residence—this could be considered in the division of assets. However, the primary factors in divorce settlements are typically the length of the marriage, the financial contributions of both spouses, and each party’s future needs.

In many cases, the financial division remains balanced unless one spouse’s behavior has caused significant financial harm to the marital estate. So, while cheating can be painful and emotional, it doesn’t necessarily entitle the other spouse to a larger share of the assets unless there’s tangible financial waste involved.

What Should You Do If Your Spouse Has Cheated?

If you are facing a divorce and your spouse has cheated, it’s important to focus on the practical aspects of your case. While the emotional impact of infidelity is real, approaching the divorce with a clear mind will help you navigate the process more effectively. Here are a few things to keep in mind:

Consult a Divorce Lawyer
A divorce attorney can help you understand the legal aspects of your case and protect your interests. If infidelity has caused financial or emotional harm, your lawyer can help you make the case to the court. Divorce law is complicated, and working with an experienced attorney ensures that your case is handled properly.

Focus on the Children
If children are involved, the most important factor in your divorce will be the best interests of the child. Focus on their well-being and ensure that the court has all the necessary information to make a fair custody decision. Avoid using the children as pawns in your divorce—keep their needs in the forefront.

Understand the Division of Assets
Texas follows a community property law, so most assets will be divided equally unless there is a reason to deviate. A lawyer can help ensure that all assets are accounted for and fairly divided. If your spouse has engaged in financial misconduct, your lawyer will help you present that evidence to the court.

Avoid Letting Emotion Drive Decisions
It’s easy to let anger and hurt feelings drive decisions during a divorce, but it’s important to make decisions that will benefit your future, your children, and your financial stability. Rushing into decisions based on emotions can have long-term consequences, so take your time and think strategically about your future.

Divorce is complicated enough without the added stress of worrying about how your spouse’s infidelity will affect the outcome. While infidelity can bring up difficult emotions, it rarely has a major impact on asset division or custody decisions unless it leads to significant financial or emotional harm. By focusing on the legal aspects of your case and consulting with an experienced divorce attorney, you can navigate this difficult time with confidence.